“I Would Never Share Something So Personal”

Well, I guess you’ll never assure someone else like you that they’re not alone, either

From the Collective Unconscious Sequence — Original Image by Author via Midjourney

The other day, I was jacking around on Quora and decided to write an answer to a particular life choice-themed question that rolled through my feed. It was aimed at people over 40, asking whether we ever regretted whatever choice we’d ultimately made about having children versus not having them.

Now, as some of you may know, I’m going on 47 years old at this point. I decided a long time ago — way back when I was still a kid myself, really — that motherhood wasn’t for me and that I was never having children. I stuck to my guns on that front over the years, and I have never once regretted it.

But I also know that, according to the going social construct, women like me aren’t supposed to exist — women who are relatively good, decent, well-adjusted people but also want nothing to do with motherhood. So I decided to grace that question with a thoughtful answer, as I do when I’m feeling share-y.

Much to my great delight, that answer wound up resonating with a lot of people. As a result, it made the rounds and attracted a fair number of views.

Most readers who decided to chime in via the comments section praised me for my answer, complimenting me on how well-written it was and telling me how much they’d related to what I’d said. I even got praise and props from parents who fully understood why I’d made the choice I had and commended me for being self-aware enough to make it in the first place, which felt even more validating.

But any piece of writing that gets the least little bit popular also eventually gets trolls and critics hating on whatever they can about it, too. So I wasn’t surprised when that happened here, too.

My critic didn’t attack my character for not wanting to be a mom

Instead, she started by saying she thought it was an awful question to ask in the first place, because what kind of person actually asks other people if they regret their life choices. Then she basically shamed me for sharing an answer at all.